


how'd we get in this position pt 2

by perksofbeingabooknerd



Category: Lovely Little Losers, Nothing Much to Do
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, alternate version!, and hero is mortified and runs away poor bb, and john is clueless as always, and this time the feelings are completely one sided, unrequited feelings, until he's not, yup hero's still bi in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-14
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-15 00:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7197467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/perksofbeingabooknerd/pseuds/perksofbeingabooknerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You like me?”<br/>“Yeah.”<br/>“As more than friends?”<br/>“Yeah.”</p><p>or, an alternate ending to "how'd we get in this position?" ft. awkwardness and unrequited feelings</p>
            </blockquote>





	how'd we get in this position pt 2

**Author's Note:**

> you know that thing that happens when you think of your completed fics and wish you'd written it differently? yeah.
> 
> as mentioned in the summary, this is an alternate version of the original fic. it doesn't really have a happy ending and it's super angsty so sorry but enjoy!! and pls kudos and comment, i need validation to live.
> 
> (also, will probably write another alternate ending, so look out for that)

Too much, too much, it was all too much. Hero had to get some air.

She stepped out into the cold night, sucking in deep breaths. She thought she could handle this party, she really did. But her tolerance for self-inflicted torture ended when she watched other girls kissing him and touching him. That, she couldn’t take.

“Hero!” She heard his voice behind her, deep and rich and lovely and _familiar_. She sighed, already dreading the inevitable confrontation.

“Hero?”

She steeled herself and turned around, a pleasant smile on her face. “Yeah?”

He stood in front of her, panting. Had he run all the way here?

“I,” John gulped and quickly tore off his beanie. “I just came to-to check on you. Are you okay?”

Hero nodded, wishing that would be the end of it and he would leave her to pine in peace. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? Because you’ve been acting weird lately, and-and you can tell me if something’s wrong.”

Dammit, why did he have to be thoughtful and supportive? It would be so much easier to get rid of her awful crush if he acted like every other oblivious college boy. But no, he was John. And he wasn’t about to change any time soon.

“John, I’m okay. Really. Go back to the party.”

He studied her for a moment longer. Hero had no idea what he was thinking. She hated that his gaze turned her cheeks pink and made her heart beat faster. She hated that he had this effect on her. If it was up to her, none of these feelings would exist, they would remain good and platonic friends, and everything would be normal.

“Hero.”

“Y-yes?” Her heart was in her throat. Did he know?

“I know you. I know when something’s bothering you. And we made a pact to be honest with each other. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad.”

“Wanna bet?” Hero blurted out. Dammit. Now he wasn’t going to let it go. _Nice job, Hero._

John looked at her sympathetically. “Is it your family? Your grades? Is it Leo? Is he okay? Did the cancer come back?”

Hero touched his arm, cutting him off. “No, no. Nothing like that. Leo’s fine.”

He took a deep breath, running a hand through his messy hair. She wished he wouldn’t do that. It wasn’t making him any less attractive in her eyes.

“Then what is it, Hero? I’m your friend. I want to be there for you.”

Hero let go of his arm and tipped her head back to look at the sky. It was always a welcome sight. All the stars comforted her, and reminded her that they were there. They’d always been there, and they always would be, even in a hundred years. They were a constant for her, just like John was. She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t lose him. But he wasn’t going to let it go, and she was a terrible liar.

She smiled at him. “It’s nothing. Just-I have a crush on someone, that’s all.”

His eyes crinkled into a smile. “Well, that’s a good thing, isn’t it?”

Hero ducked her head, shuffling her feet. “Y-yeah, it is.”

“Then what’s the problem? Does he or she like you back?”

She was still afraid to look at him. If she looked at him, he would figure everything out right now and he would look at her in shock and he would walk away. “I don’t know. But it’s alright, really.”

Another lie.

John grasped her shoulders, causing her heart to skip a beat. His dark blue eyes bored into her. “Is that why you’ve been acting so weird?”

Her head snapped back up to meet his gaze. “I haven’t been acting weird,” she said automatically.

John cocked an eyebrow at her. “Really? Is that why you’ve been avoiding me for the past week?”

“I’ve been busy.”

“I know. We both have. But you haven’t said a word to me all night. What gives?”

Hero swallowed. He was going to find out. He was going to wrench it out of her, and things between them would never be the same.

“You like someone, but you won’t tell me who. Were they at the party? Do I know them? I can have a word with them and tell them to get their head out of their ass and start noticing you. Just say the word. I’ll do it.”

Hero laughed and shook her head. He was so, so lovely and she was fucked. “That’s not necessary, John. But thank you.”

“So who is it? Don’t leave me hanging, Hero.” He looked at her, so hopeful. Hero could feel her defenses crumbling. She swallowed again, searching for the right words. She wished her face wasn’t so hot.

“Yes, he was at the party.”

“Okay, so it’s a guy! I know him?”

“Technically, yes.”

She watched his smile turn into a frown.

“What do you mean, technically? Why is your face all red?”

Hero looked away. She felt his hands drop from her shoulders.

“Hero?” John stepped even closer to her, peering down at her face. Hero was sure he could hear the thundering of her heart.

He deliberated for a moment, then hesitantly laid a hand on her chest. Right over her heart. Fucking perfect. It was all she could do to control her breathing.

“Hero, why is your heart beating so fast?” John whispered.

It was quiet, so quiet, except for the sounds of their breathing and John’s soft “Oh” of realization. Hero’s heart sank.

He didn’t move his hand. “Do you have feelings for me?”

The only answer was the pounding of her heart under his hand. He knew.

John took a step back, not looking at her. Hero searched his face, unable to read his expression. He shoved his hands in his pockets.

“How long?”

Hero found her voice. “I don’t know. A while, I guess.”

He met her gaze again. “You like me?”

“Yeah.”

“As more than friends?”

“Yeah.”

They stared at each other a few moments too long. He was the first to look away.

“Say something,” Hero blurted out.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why do you like _me_?"

She just stared at the ground. Why did she like him? What a stupid question. She could no sooner answer that than explain how the earth rotated. There wasn't a solid reason for Hero's feelings for John, they just _were_. 

"I don't know," she finally said lamely.

John let out an uneasy laugh. "Um. I-I don't-"

Hero's heart began to sink. She kept her eyes on the pavement under their feet. She studied the cracks in the ground and the distance between their shoes. Maybe if she concentrated hard enough, the cracks would widen and widen until they were big enough to swallow her whole. 

"Hero." She could feel his eyes on her, but refused to meet his gaze. "I don't-I don't feel the same way, I'm sorry."

Hero ignored the pinpricks of ice in her blood and glanced back up at John, forcing a smile on her face. "It's fine. Really." 

"I'm sorry." And he really did look sorry. Hero wished he would be a jerk about this, just so she could have a reason to hate him.

"It's fine," Hero repeated just as John simultaneously blurted out "But I-".

They both laughed nervously. Hero's face wouldn't stop burning. She should've known this would happen, dammit. She could already feel the tears begin to form behind her eyes. 

John tilted his head back to look up at the sky, letting out a long breath. Hero watched it come out as a wispy puff in the cold night air. Her chest ached. This was exactly what she did not want to happen. She should just go. If she left right now, maybe they could salvage their friendship and they could pretend this conversation had never happened.

"Well, I should-" Hero started to say, fully intending to walk the hell away and lock herself in her room forever. But his hand on her arm stopped her.

"Hey." John looked at her with an expression Hero couldn't quite decipher. It was almost like he was...worried. "I don't want to lose your friendship."

Hero stared, her eyebrows drawn together. Out of all the things he could've said, she was not expecting that. "You won't," she said slowly.

"I really care about you." 

"Thank you," Hero said, willing her voice not to wobble.

"And, um. If you want to-to avoid me for a while, I would understand." John looked down.

Not for the first time during this conversation, she found herself at a loss for words. "Oh. Um. You don't have to-"

His head shot back up and his gaze bored into her. "Are you sure?"

"I'll get over it." Hero's tight-lipped smile was back. She waved a hand like it was no big deal and tried to pretend like the blue of his eyes wasn't her favorite color in the world. "It's fine. Really."

"Okay. Um. It's not gonna be weird, right?"

"Not at all," she lied.

"Okay. Cool. And, um, if there's anything I do that makes you, um. Let me know. And I won't do it anymore."

Hero resisted the urge to sigh heavily. "Okay. Well, I'm gonna go. This hasn't been embarrassing at all. Goodnight, John."

And with that, Hero turned and practically bolted down the street toward her apartment building. Her eyes burned with unshed tears and her stomach wouldn't stop twisting itself into a knot. She felt like she was going to throw up. Thankfully, she didn't, although it was touch and go for a few minutes.

So he knew how she felt. So he didn't like her back. So what? Hero told herself it wasn't the end of the world, and her roommate especially would tell her that boys weren't worth crying over. 

Hero cried anyway. But she made certain to pull herself together before she walked into her room. 

It wasn't worth it.

It wasn't worth it.

He wasn't worth it.

He was worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> validate me


End file.
